Troubled Minds
by TurnerPendragon
Summary: Fem!Merlin. A teenage fangirl of 21st century finds herself in Camelot and learns of her magical powers, ends up as the prince's manservant and in despite of this, starts falling for the man she swore to dislike. Merthur.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I own neither Merlin or the stories references made to. Enjoy! + Review! Thank you, buttercups :)**

**Troubled Minds.**

**1. Back in time.**

"I hate you all!" the girl slammed the door shut and fell dramatically on the floor, crying. Of course they wouldn't understand, why had she even bothered to share her pain with them? Dobby was dead! Sure, he was fictional, but still! That didn't mean the damage was not real.

Tears ran down her cheeks as she crawled back to her bed and under the covers for comfort. She took a deep breath and took the book in her hands again. God knows how many times it had been read, but that part always got to her. Like the deaths of other characters deemed fictional.

"Merlin?" There was a knock on the door."Open up, please!" The brunette didn't react, hugging the book close."There's a delivery for you!"

Merlin wiped away her tears and sniffed sadly. Without bothering to make herself presentable, she wrapped the blanket around her and opened the door. Her mother scrunched her nose at the way she looked, face red and hair messy, but let her through. The teenager moved slowly as a snail to the hallway, where she wordlessly signed the paper the delivery boy gave her.

"I'm sorry, but you have to prove your ID," the young man said, before handing the parcel. Merlin, as if expecting it, pulled her passport from a nearby drawer and let him admire the god-awful photo of hers. Satisfied, the pimple-faced boy handed her a small parcel. The girl took it, cursing, because from the looks of it, the post service had not been too careful with it.

"Thanks," she muttered, before turning around and moving at a turtle's speed back to her room, afraid the blanket would fall and she would be in her plain pyjamas in front of a stranger.

"Nice to meet you Merlin!" the delivery guy called, before closing the door and Merlin groaned knowing if she were to check her Facebook later, she would have a new friend request. That much for being a complete shut-in and not meeting people in the outernet.

Back in bed, she finally tore up the brown paper. In the parcel, she found a silver coin she'd ordered from eBay for a ridiculous amount of money ages ago, but that only made her excitement grow. She grabbed a magnifier almost immediately after she had wrapped her fingers around the coin.

And she knew instantly it was not the coin she had bought. It looked similar in many aspects, but there was something different about it. Merlin recognized some of the symbols and she stood up, tears still streaming down her face, to grab a book from the shelves, except it wasn't there. In fact, there wasn't even a shelf in the first place – nor her room.

She snorted at the weirdness of her situation. She was in a strange forest, wearing her cutest pyjamas under a blanket with a Slytherin emblem, hugging close a book from one of her many favourite series, a gold coin in one and a magnifier in her other hand. It was as if the work of magic she was there, but that could not have been it, nay? She closed her eyes and pried them open again, pinched herself to get out of the dream. Nothing happened.

A rustling sound was heard and she turned her head towards the source. "Watch out!" she heard a voice yell, before seeing a young man racing towards her, and she jumped out of his way, ducking in the process. The man fell to the ground, laughing gleefully.

"Sorry!" he giggled, giving her once over."May I ask where you're from, my fair lady?" He bowed, seeing the coat of arms on the blanket, as she hugged it closer. If a relatively attractive guy appeared, you wouldn't want them to see you in your pyjamas. Especially, if they were silky and pink.

"Erm... Where am I?" she asked, ignoring the question. If this was as she had hoped, then.. Then maybe she was very far away from home, on an adventure Gandalf gave Bilbo or like Percy Jackson had had after he found out his father was Poseidon.

"A ten minutes walk from Ealdor, milady," he said. Merlin frowned. She had never heard of Ealdor before, if only in the legends she'd read during her knights in shining armour phase.

"Oh," she replied stupidly She managed to put her items in one hand without dropping the blanket and offered him her hand."I'm Merlin." The man kissed her knuckles, making her eyes go wide in surprise.

"I'm William," he grinned."You can call me Will."

"Would you mind showing me the way to.. Ealdor?" the name sounded strange on her lips, but Will paid no attention to it, agreeing to lead her to the village he had just come from. They barely talked on their way, Merlin oddly aware of his presence and kept glancing at him. He was a head taller than her, but he didn't seem the type of a bad guy you'd usually meet in a forest (not that she had been to one alone in the last few years).

When they arrived, Merlin gasped. This was not happening. This place looked ancient! She had only seen that kind of houses in films and on the Internet. If this was real, then she prayed to lords she could find a place with Internet very soon.

"That's my home," he said, guiding her to one of the houses. Merlin followed cautiously, but when a weary-looking dark-haired woman came in and scolded her son for running away without a warning.

"Who's that?" she inquired then, noticing the brunette with a blanket for the first time. Merlin smiled sheepishly, avoiding looking at her. She knew how odd she must have looked like that.

"Mother, let me introduce you to lady Merlin," he said and the woman curtsied, hearing the title. "Merlin, this is my mother Hunith."

"It's pleasant to meet you," Hunith smiled kindly and Merlin muttered a small "Likewise" unused to talking with strangers. Hunith sat her down at the table, noticing her discomfort and offered her a cup of tea.

"I've actually no idea, how I ended up here," Merlin confessed. "One moment I'm at home... and then, here." She was elated to be out of her house, but this strange place scared her.

"Well, at least you haven't left the kingdom yet," Hunith smiled encouragingly, but Merlin paled. Kingdom? There was no way. She lived in a republic – didn't she? Oh Merlin's beard, she muttered one of her favourite curse phrases (despite she herself being a girl and having no beard) from the series she was obsessed with.

"Kingdom of what?" she asked with hesitation. Hunith's eyes widened, realizing the girl might be farther from home than she had guessed. Indeed, the slowly falling blanket revealed clothes she hadn't seen in her life before.

"Why, kingdom of Camelot," she said and the teenage girl before her nearly went bonkers. Her eyes widened and unluckily for her, the moment Merlin yelled "Bollocks!" a vase broke. Merlin's slightly yellow eyes told her enough. It was time she did something about this lovely intruder.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Any dialogue you might recognize comes from the series The Adventures of Merlin and/or is in reference to mentioned book or TV series in the text, for example Harry Potter and Doctor Who, which I don't own either.**

**A/N: Enjoy! :3**

**2. Rotten luck**

"Merlin, how did you do that?" Hunith inquired, Will pinning the tiny girl down. The teenager was shocked to say the least. It was the first time ever a man was so close to her.

"Pervert!" she squealed, trying to wiggle free. William tried hard not to laugh, but because Merlin had completely misinterpreted the situation, he couldn't resist.

"Calm down," he muttered with humour in his voice. "Answer her question." Merlin froze. Although it coincided with Will's words, Merlin had realized what exactly she was wearing: silk was never good at staying on.

With a horrified shriek, she managed to push him off and assumed the position of a caveman ready to protect his home.

"Stay away!" she hissed. It was her rotten luck that made her meet the most rotten people. Or people in general, when it came to it.

"Where did you learn magic?" Hunith asked with a sigh. Merlin nearly dropped her guard.

"I can't do magic," she said with suspicion clear in her voice. "Don't come any closer!" She warned Will who had started to approach her.

"Let her be now," Hunith said calmly. "I believe her. Look how frightened she looks! No one could fake it." William stopped.

"I did magic?" the girl tried hard to process what the woman had said. "Merlin's beard!" she exclaimed. "Oh my Rowling!" she whispered in awe. "Holy Gallifrey..."

Hunith and Will stared at the teenage girl in confusion, but when she yelled an exclamation of joy, they realized just how little Merlin knew of the neighbouring country and its government. William tackled her to the ground and clasped a hand over her mouth when she was in the middle of crying out loud "I'm a witch!" for the third time.

Merlin was baffled by his actions and did the one thing she could think of. She bit him.

Hunith knew keeping this young woman around for much longer would prove to be very dangerous, but sending her alone out to the world would be even more so. Making her leave was certainly out of the question. A girl as eccentric as that was certain to get in trouble.

"Magic," she said carefully, when the teenager had quieted down, "is punishable by death. King Uther has banished all magic-users who he could not have executed. Those who use magic are forced to live in fear of discovering. Even if Uther is the king of a neighbouring country, people of any country are greatly rewarded when a witch's head is brought to him."

"So I have magic, but I can't use it?" the girl asked meekly. Hunith nodded and Merlin's face fell.

"Perhaps my brother Gaius could help you conceal it," the kind woman said, immediately looking for parchment. "For that, you ought to go to the town of Camelot. Will was about to go tomorrow. However, before you go, we need to teach you some things," she sounded stern, but Merlin nodded excitedly. Wasn't the town of Camelot where the royalty lived? She had always wanted to meet the Queen of England anyway!

"Um, I'm sorry, but first.. may I borrow a change of clothes?" she asked shyly. Hunith looked at her weird clothes and nodded. When offered a dress, Merlin stared at it as if she saw it for the first time in her life. With a sigh, however, she put it on, although her discomfort was strongly visible.

"Good," Hunith noted. "Now, first things first," she was about to start with the first lesson of etiquette in Camelot, when Merlin's stomach grumbled. "Well, perhaps we should get you something to eat first." The girl grinned sheepishly, glad the studying would be postponed. Perhaps it was good she'd forgot to eat breakfast this morning.

Merlin was more than happy to start her journey next morning. Dressed in Will's newest clothes (she was having none of having to travelling in a dress and Will refused to give any of his old clothes), she was elated to go. The boy found her amusing and allowed her to run around in a sheer happiness he didn't understand.

"I'm tired," the girl suddenly said, sitting down on the ground. Will knew that with doing it, she showed her lack of power to go on.

"Already?" he teasingly asked, but laughed at her pouting face. Although Merlin could easily pull off being a boy, he knew underneath the clothes was quite a feminine body.

However, he also knew letting her rest would prolong their already long journey. He squatted down with a grin similar to hers and when the girl was least expecting it, threw her over his shoulder and continued on. Merlin laughed for a while and asked him to tell a story. When he looked back to see what it was about, he found the teenager asleep.

Having no desire to wake her, he let her sleep as long as she needed – which strangely enough happened to be until they were at the gates of Camelot.

"I can go on on my own!" she piped cheerfully, although her heart was beating faster than before. Going into a world of people was never easy, but this was exciting. These people, the clothes they wore... Everything was so much like from a story she would love to read!

Okay, she decided with a tiny smile. Pretend they're fictional. Except, they were real and very much so for her, she realized when she accidentally saved Gaius, the man she had been sent to and saved his life. Having a place to stay, she didn't worry about anything. She drifted back to sleep easily.

The breakfast was awfully unusual, but she forced it down her throat knowing from literary experience how sometimes food was scarce to find. Nothing to do, she left the court physician's house and wondered around, when a rather attractive blond caught his eye. He was bullying another boy, who reminded her terribly of Neville Longbottom in the earlier books, and she was finally able to do what she had always dreamt of!

"You've had your fun, my friend," she said, imagining Draco Malfoy at the beautiful man's place.

"Do I know you?" the man was shocked someone had approached him like that.

"Er, I'm Merlin!" She said, holding out her hand. She was unsure why she did it, but it wouldn't hurt to try and make friends there, now wouldn't it? She gave him a once over, curious and a bit anxious as well.

"So I don't know you." Merlin didn't understand why it was so weird, but she shrugged it off, as a passing rudeness.

"No," she confirmed with a smile she tried hard to hide.

"Yet you called me friend."

"That was my mistake," suddenly, the girl decided he was not someone she'd want to get acquainted with.

"Yes, I think so," The blond was being extraordinarily arrogant and Merlin felt her fingers form fists angrily.

"Yeah." she chirped gleefully and shrugged. "I would never have a friend who would be such an ass."


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I was busy with school. I still own nothing. Also, enjoy! :)**

**3. The Reckless and the Brave**

Being exposed to so much humans, Merlin felt her self-consciousness slowly disappear. She kept smiling at people and waving at them, although telling herself at the same time it was completely normal in that kind of situation. How was she to know that arrogant bastard was a royal one? She chuckled and remembered how she had got in stuck in the stock during her trip to a castle with her parents and how her little sister refused to let her out and she had to wait for an hour, before some random person freed her from it.

Back then, however, there weren't any kids throwing rotten food at her. Food! She wanted to laugh at the thought of it, because at home, she had been the one telling how important it was to not play with food.

"I'm Guinevere, but most people call me Gwen. I'm the Lady Morgana's maid," a voice said, catching Merlin's attention.

"Right. I'm Merlin," she reached her hand further out and Guinevere shook it with a curious smile. "Although, most people just call me Idiot." She really hadn't made it off that well in Camelot.

"I saw what you did. It was so brave," the young lady said. Merlin loved her clothing. If she was cosplaying, she would definitely receive the highest award possible.

"It was stupid," Merlin replied, trying to hide her smile.

"Well, I'm glad you walked away. You weren't going to beat him," Gwen teased and Merlin almost laughed at it. However, she managed to look shocked and retorted back: "Oh, I- I can beat him."

"You think? Because you don't look like one of these big, muscle-y kind of fellows." It was then Merlin realized she could probably trust Guinevere with her secret.

"Thanks." she said, pretending to be offended. It was less dramatic when she was at home, where she'd use her whole body to present her emotions, but being attached to the stocks had its' disadvantages.

"No! No, I'm sure you're stronger than you look. It's just, erm... Arthur's one of these real rough, tough, save the world kind of men, and... well..." Gwen tried to ease what she had just said, giving Merlin a nervous smile.

"What?" Merlin shot, grinning from ear to ear.

"You don't look like that." Gwen said, making Merlin burst out in laughter. She motioned the servant girl closer and whispered in conspiracy: "I'm in disguise!"

Gwen laughed gleefully, as Merlin pointed at her body. Shaking her head, she seemed to have got the point the young witch had been trying to give and winked at her.

"Well, it's great you stood up to him." she admitted. "Arthur's a bully, and everyone thought you were a real hero."

Merlin nodded excitedly in agreement.

"I know!" she exclaimed. "He was so mean towards that other boy! I can't believe someone like him could be a _prince_!" She rattled, as if talking about a book she had just read. "By the way," she added. "He reminds me exactly of a boy in a book I read!" Then, as if realizing what she had just said and tried clamping her hand over mouth. "I meant, he reminds me exactly of a plant I read about at Gaius's room. His books are very fascinating!" In fact, she hadn't been able to read any of them yet, but if her copy of the Harry Potter series' last book was the only one existence yet, she would guard it with her greatest abilities.

Gwen laughed and ruffled her hair. Merlin was surprised by her action, but didn't mind it. She noticed children returning to the place with more rotten fruit and vegetables in their possession. Merlin groaned in her mind, but forced herself to smile charmingly: "Oh, excuse me, Guinevere. My fans are waiting." She pointed at the forming swarm and readied herself. _Think you're one of the strolling players. That's right, they are always punished in one way or another_, she reminded herself and the pain of getting hit was suddenly so much easier to bear.

Merlin appreciated Gaius's joke about vegetables later that night, but not one piece would go down her throat. She was tired and lazy and she wanted to go home to have another film marathon or read a book or two, but she settled with her last owned book and cuddled up with a bundle of clothes, a blanket wrapped around her shoulder.

Like at home, in her arms was a hot cup of tea, and she prepared herself to read. With a deep breath, she opened the book on the last page she'd finished and was ready to go, when -

"What's that?" Gaius asked and Merlin raised it.

"A book," she stated, not tearing her eyes from the words. "It's what you install software to your brains."

"Is it magic?" the court physician sounded worried, not understanding what the teenager was saying. It sounded a bit wibbly-wobbly, but Merlin shrugged it off. She finally raised her eyes, ready to share the wonderful works of Joanne Kathleen Rowling with a man of history.

"Well, yes," she said cheerfully. "It's amazing! It's about a wizard called Harry Potter and how he doesn't know he's a wizard and gosh, it's impossible to describe all the fantastic adventures he has with his best friends Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger," she gushed. "But there's also this bad wizard, Voldemort and he tries to become immortal."

Gaius ripped the printed work from her hands and looked at her with disappointment. "Magic," he said sternly, "is strictly forbidden in Camelot."

"My precious!" Merlin cried, reaching out for the book. Gaius reluctantly returned it to her, seeing how agitated she became with it leaving her possession.

"What's the point if it can't be used?" she whined, coming back to the topic she had been having with nearly everyone who knew of her magic and wanted her to not use it.

"That I do not know. You are a question that has never been posed before, Merlin," Gaius replied wisely. The girl pouted.

"Did you ever study magic?" she questioned, leaning closer to the man. Her knees were hurting from the body pressure on them, but she was curious enough to ignore it.

"Uther banned all such work twenty years ago." It wasn't an answer she wanted, so she kept urging him to talk more: "Why?"

"People used magic for the wrong end at that time. It threw the natural order into chaos. Uther made it his mission to destroy everything from back then, even the dragons." Gaius explained what Hunith hadn't. Merlin's eyes went wide. Dragons?

"What? All of them?" she exclaimed loudly, eyes glimmering with a terrifying light.

"There was one dragon he chose not to kill, kept it as an example. He imprisoned it in a cave deep beneath the castle where no one can free it. Now, eat up," he threw an apple at the girl, before leaving her room.

"Apples are rubbish," she muttered, when she was left alone, but the eerie glint in her eyes didn't disappear. After all, there had been a brilliant book and a film on how to train a dragon.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. Any dialogue you might recognize comes from the series The Adventures of Merlin and/or is in reference to mentioned book or TV series in the text.**

**4. Trust me – I've got a plan**

Merlin's sleep was restless. She twisted and turned, responding to a voice calling out within her mind. When she woke, she didn't remember it and got dressed easily, admiring the boy's clothes once more. They definitely weren't as comfortable as the ones she had worn at home, but they would suffice for the time being.

She ate her breakfast quickly, not bothering to savor the taste which would not live up to the quality of pizza and muffins at home. She had the morning off – courtesy of Gaius, who thought to inspect her precious book, without her presence constantly nagging to give it back.

It was near midday, when she passed the square where Arthur and his gang were showing off. She wasn't sure what made her long to see the Lower Town again, but she knew well the prince would not use the chance to ruin her day. She would not give him the pleasure.

"How's your knee-walking coming along?" Arthur called. Merlin decided to ignore it for the sake of her own dignity. Heaven knows what kind of ugly joke he would play on her once she opened her mouth.

"Aw, don't run away!" the prince teased and she had a sudden urge to hit him in the face. Preferably with a strong brick. She stopped.

"From you?" she questioned quietly, throwing her well-hidden frustration towards him. She heard Arthur sigh, followed by the annoying words: "Thank God. I thought you were deaf as well as dumb." Oh, how she wanted to get back at him right now.

"Look, I've told you you're an ass," she said bitterly. She turned swiftly to face him, her hair nearly falling out of it's place. She decided to cut it when she managed to get back to her chambers. "I just didn't realise you were a royal one. Oh, what are you going to do? Get your daddy's men to protect you?" she added tauntingly.

Arthur laughed. "I could take you apart with one blow."

"I could take you apart with less than that," she shot back, forgetting her intention to get back to her chambers safely. Right now, there was nothing more important than the pompous prat in front of her.

"Are you sure?" the prince continued teasing her. Her reply was quick and she didn't regret it even a bit, when a mace was thrown her way. She picked it up and stared at the royal arse, who was swinging one in his hand with apparent ease. He looked expectantly at her and started advancing.

"Come on, then. I warn you, I've been trained to kill since birth," she heard him say. Her heart was pumping fast in fear of actual combat, but she couldn't keep her tongue in check.

"Wow, and how long have you been training to be a prat?" Merlin's mouth had a free will, mainly due to the laws in her world, where she was allowed to say anything she wanted, think whatever she wanted. Right now, she felt terrifying anger towards the son of the king who had banned magic.

"You can't address me like that," Arthur snorted. Merlin smiled a little, seeing the amusement in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. H-How long have you been training to be a prat, My Lord?" She gave a mocking bow, making the prince grin widely. She was an entertainment, an easy way to pass time and although Merlin knew that, she wished the prince had something else to do. When Arthur started swinging the mace, she had already made up her mind.

She fought her best, using carelessly the magic this world had gifted her with. When she lost for such a stupid moment, where she savoured her victory and Arthur used it against her, she felt awful. Both for her inability to predict it – although she enjoyed the fact most of the main characters in books were as dumb – and for the disbelief that Arthur would actually do that. She mentally prepared herself for another show in the stock, when the prince's words caught her attention.

"Wait. Let him go. He may be an idiot, but he's a brave one. There's something about you, Merlin. I can't quite put my finger on it." She almost smiled at this act of kindness, when the guards let her go. However, she would never steep so low, as to thank him.

It was later in Gaius' chambers that she regretted not letting the prince beat her up. However, she was glad the bruises on her fragile body were kept minimal and she told that to the scolding court physician.

"Magic must be studied, mastered, and used for good! Not for idiotic pranks!" he spoke angrily. Merlin shrugged.

"What is there to master? I could move objects like that before I could talk!" she gloated, although both of them knew it was a lie. She giggled at the bewildered look on the man's face and sighed.

"I'm just a nobody, and I always will be. If I can't use magic, I might as well die," she said quietly. "It's not like I wanted to encounter him there. I tried to ignore him. You know it never works."

She heard the court physician sigh and knew she had gotten her point across. She returned to her chambers, grabbing a cup of water along the way. It was lukewarm and by no means comforted her like a cup of hot chocolate would, but she would not let anyone know. No one should.

Merlin laid on her bed, not bothering to change her attire. The room was dark and as the time passed, she wished she could sleep, but fanfiction about her favourite characters kept engulfing her mind. Soon, she heard the calling she had forgotten about and sat up quickly. The voice didn't stop.

She exited her room silently and sneaked out of Gaius' chambers. She crossed the Square, hoping no one would notice her. Oh, how she wished she had an Invisible Cape like Harry did.

Merlin descended the Wrought Iron Stairway and used magic, once again, for her own good. The guards' dice rolled far enough. She grabbed a torch, as if she was there for a millionth time, and headed down the Tunnel Stairway, praying to all the gods she knew she would not be caught. She still heard the voice calling her and for a moment, she compared it to the basilisk and fear struck her. She froze mid-step and noticing the cave entrance, she entered the dragon's lair.


End file.
